Dharma Momma

I’m a Buddhist and a Mother. This is what I do.

September 21, 2008

Filed under: family,parenting — mandora @ 12:03 am

Why is the family so forgotten now days? It seems to me, that in times such as the ones we are experiencing right now – tumultuous times, if you will – we all NEED a safety net to fall back on. Should we not be valuing the family even more than before? Should we not be investing in this very basic human need? For some reason we are not.

As a woman, I’m so struck by the fact that I feel the NEED to provide the groundwork for this family unit. I feel a real drive to take care of my husband and my children. To make sure that they are fed and happy and safe. I love my husband unconditionally and with my whole being. Fifty years ago these things were EXPECTED. Today, I’m likely to be branded anti-feminist for voicing these things here. However, I feel it is because of my feminist spirit that I feel so strongly about these things.

We as women have given up over the years, all those things which make us different and unique beings. Instead of embracing our ability to give life to babies, and to nurture our families and to provide a safe spot for our loved ones to come home to, we saw it as a weakness…something that needed to be avoided. We were told be to behave more like ‘men’. And in doing so, all of humanity has become a sort of asexual, homogeneous personage and no one knows where they fit. Just look at the incidence of depression!! As I sit at the midpoint of my twenties, I don’t know where to go from here, because the strong yearning that I have to be a wife and a mother and a leader of the homelife of my family isn’t a viable option for women of my generation.

Well, I am taking this back for my generation. The women of my mother’s time fought to free themselves of the home, but I think they lost something integral. They lost what makes us, as women, unique. I am PROUD to be the child-bearer, the nurturer and the one who fixes my family’s problems. I am content to let my husband go out each day and ‘hunt’ our necessities. My strength comes from my connection to countless generations of women before me, and I hope that my daughter after me will feel this strength, and take up this cause. And yes, I am proud that I have the option to go to work, the real sense of equality that I feel… but in pretending the differences do not exist, we’ve lost a major source of our strength as women. And I, for one, will embrace that strength!

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One Response to “”

  1. Michelle Says:

    Wow, you’ve said everything that I have been thinking the last two years, yet I am still part of the awful machine that convinced me to work. I’m not sure what the future will hold when I have children, but I am happy to know that I am not alone, and if I do make a drastic change in the world of work at least someone will understand that decision.


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